"oh, the places you'll go!"

i'm finding my inspiration currently in a very important, intellectual, world renowned book, a classic in it's own right...namely, "oh, the places you'll go!" by dr. seuss. seriously, this man was a genius.

for instance - "with you heard full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street."

or perhaps - "i'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you...you'll come down from the lurch with an unpleasant bump. and the chances are, then, that you'll be in a slump. and when you're in a slump, you're not in for much fun. un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

i stumbled upon this book on accident. someone gave it to me back a few years when i graduated from college, at which point i was far far too busy to read it, but now, reading it inspires me. makes me laugh. relieves some of my anxiety. and you know, i get all of this from a children's book. perhaps this speaks volumes about me, some of you may think, as i myself have wondered, but you know, more accurately, i just think that dr. seuss knew his shit and his knowledge and works are universally applicable to all, regardless of race, age, gender, sex, social status and what not...and i like that right now about him. that, and of course, he made me laugh and smile, two of my very favorite things to do.

moving on...my 3 year old nephew is again calling me aunt sally, instead of aunt trisha. see, the story goes like this. a while ago, last summer i think, i taught my beloved and gifted nephew how to give wet willies (wet finger, stick in ear...not your own ear silly.), something my brother has yet to forgive me for. anyhow, while i was away at school, my nephew practiced with great diligence his wet willies, generally on my brother. my brother, being my very favorite person in this world, decided to get revenge by renaming me "aunt sally" and teaching his son to call me such. now, he started this a couple of months ago, and i thought i had reversed such teachings, but upon arriving today at their house, i was greeted by an adorable grinning nephew calling me aunt sally. sigh. (still cute though, huh?)

alright, it is getting a bit late, and i need to get some sleep, since i am actually working SIX days this week. and that is exciting. and absolutely necessary according to my checking account.

you have such cute cheeks!

yesterday, little baby gaberoo was in town and that was good. we ran around a bit, watched shrek (which is so super cute and very appropriate for adults) and then settled into my top priority...primarily eating dinner and drinking beer. now, back in the day, namely undergrad, i was much less fun. i didn't drink beer. i was one of those very annoying girls who would only drink certain types of hard alcohol and would much rather prefer only certain types of hard cider. i was truly a pain in the ass to drink with. however, in law school, i made an effort to become more versatile and easy going...in essence, i learned to drink beer and consequently became more fun. so, last night i started drinking with my favorite beer...miller light. i love the stuff, can't help it. but i tend to fall back on it so heavily that i don't ever stray. it gets boring. anyhow, at the second and most fun bar of the night, i met a stranger while gabe was off to the bathroom. this stranger so graciously introduced me to new beer, bells oberon. it was great. resulted in me, gabe and our new friend (a fellow msu alum and local realtor) being very drunk swapping old stories from college. also resulted in this man pinching my cheeks repeatedly telling me how very cute i was and if he wasn't already in love, he would surely be in love with me. it was very amusing, especially for me, but for baby gabe too. the guy was just so genuine and so very excited to have found gabe and i, it just made the night that much better. good people. really, it was a great night. fun times. exactly what i needed to alleviate any worries or anxieties.

went through taco bell that night, but didn't actually remember eating a taco until i went to run to get my soy chai this morning and discovered an abandoned taco bell bag. instantly felt guilty about eating the taco that late at night which resulted in such great guilt that i had to compulsively go for a run to keep the unnecessary guilt at bay. it is ridiculous, i know, but i just can't help it quite yet.

anyhow, later in the evening, after gabe headed back home and after the bars were closed, i got an interesting phone call from someone who should know better than to call me...especially considering that he is certainly not single. anyhow, it was an interesting phone conversation which could have potential to create an interesting summer. we'll have to see how that works out.

alright folks, off to be tired from a compounded lack of sleep from the past few nights.

exhaustion with just a twinge of anxiety...or more than a twinge.

i am seriously exhausted. i forgot how tiring waitressing is. now, i know that sounds stupid, it isn't like i am running a marathon or moving massive quantities of weight, but seriously, i was just on my feet for over 10 hours, serving alcohol and food. now i want nothing more than to go to bed and forget about the drunks hitting on me in a manner so as to distract me from their attempts to grope me. seriously, those drunks telling me i am beautiful only grosses me out...i'd much rather here it from my nephew, who although he is three and not the most worldly of folks, is still more intelligent and coherent than those alcoholics i serve at the bar.

yeah, i can't go to bed. i can't go to bed because i have to go to the damn hospital. i have to go to the hospital because my kindeys suck and aren't working correctly, which has now turned painful and necessitates getting an ultrasound, amongst other fun tests. and that ultrasound will be taking place in about an hour...at five am. why five am? who knows. so funny though, while confirming the five am appointment, the nurse asked me to please come early, given the rush. i just sat there, dumbfounded, wondering why there was a rush at five in the freakin' morning. i, of course, asked her if it was really all that busy at that hour, but she just didn't seem to think it was that ironic or funny. where are people's senses of humor? their wit? their sarcasm? honestly. this is why i dislike so many people.

what sucks even more is that i can't eat prior to this thingy for at least six hours. six hours really isn't all that long to go without food or drink, but i didn't have a chance to eat while at work, so i haven't actually eaten in 13 hours and i haven't had anything to drink in 8. i am a little bitter.

so, really, just to be completely honest here, which i can do, given this is my site and my blog, i'll tell you something. i am scared. i am. i don't like hospitals. rarely can i remember getting good news at the hospital. especially in the last few years, with my grams being sick with cancer. and obviously, i don't have cancer (at least i damn well better not), so i realize that i need not be that extreme, but still, hospitals don't have a positive place in my mind. much more of a negative connotation, which leads me to be nervous, anxious and scared. three things that probably only succeed in further agitating my already high blood pressure.

gabe comes to visit tomorrow and this is good. he always makes me feel better, given he does possess wit and sarcasm. i'm sure that will be a good thing.

alright all. i'd say good night, but really, this isn't such a night and i am not even going to bed. so, good day tomorrow instead!

additionally...

right, sorry i forgot! so, the other day, i was running along on the treadmill here in the house, in the basement, watching regis and kelly, trying to burn extra calories, when i glanced up and saw this face smooched (i don't know how to spell smooched)up against the window, with hands cupping around it. i then saw the freakin' scary toothless grin and seriously was so scared, upon realizing it was the pyscho builder, that i misstepped and fell off the back of the treadmill. i can not even begin to tell you how enraged i was. i just sat there, head hurting, treadmill treading, thinking about how i was so calling my brother to beat this weirdo up. seriously, pyscho! stop staring at me in the shower and on the treadmill. agh. he is like a stalker with a permit, given his necessity as builder. ick.

on another funny note, i have again realized why i am not quite ready to be a mom. while babysitting today, i packed up the small children, car seats and all, into the saturn. i then packed myself in. as i am pulling out, i hear a loud thud, and realize i have run over something. i worry, then realize it couldn't have been a child, since both were in the car...instead it was the diaper bag. nice. i ran over the diaper bag, which mind you, i would have forgotten had i not hit it. seriously, who trusts me to babysit?

bittersweet

so, woke up unnaturally early to the phone. yeah, some semi-scary news from my newly acquired family doctor, otherwise known as gabe's dad. anyhow, high blood pressure aside, things look slightly more colorful, so further testing has to be done aided by a specialist. not so excited about this development, but whatever. can't do much to avoid it.

anyhow, after that type of waking up, i was a bit stressed, so babysitting for the niece and nephew was perfect, given all the fort building and other fun things to partake in. plus, my nephew, in his three years of wisdom, has determined that not only am i the most beautiful (pronounced bee-u-tiful) girl he knows, but also one of the smartest. i earned the title of smartest when i was able to dislodge his finger from the vcr that he had stuck it in. silly boy. anyhow, 12 hours with those two totally occupies your mind, not allowing one to worry about much else besides keeping the kids with all their fingers and toes, at least until the parent get home. it was a good time and good for me. like i said, there was fort building, one of my all time favorite activities still. additionally, we also had some fun at the river and swinging in the park. i haven't swung in so long...i tried for a big dismount, going as far as to call out to my nephew and brother to get their attention, yeah, then i ate shit in the woodchips. hey, it was good for the laughs and humbling for the ego. i now can cross off a future as a gymnast.

what else? i start work waitressing tomorrow, which is fantastic. i need to make some serious money, and short of selling myself or taking off my clothes, this might be my best option, so let's all wish me luck. no need for me to go to extremes.

alright boys and girls. i need to go and relax. perhaps shower off some of the dirty hand prints that are scattered all over me, given the two small children i spent the day with. more another time.

agh, frustration.

i am frustrated. can't so much pin point the exact source of frustration, or the exact person(s) that i am letting frustrate me, but if i just think about it long enough i might figure it out...or i might just get more frustrated. i think the bottom line is that people annoy me. or more accurately, boys annoy me. i need to stop allowing them to frustrate me. note to self.

i can tell you that i am not frustrated by a lack of things to do today. instead, i was busy. i got called into one of my many past jobs, this one at the salon, where i am the perky welcoming face to the clients. or at least that is my goal. so, i worked there. and that was good, because otherwise i would have had to sit in the beautiful house i can't enjoy because the pyscho builder who stares in showers was here not doing his job. he is kinda a bad builder, all things considered. and he doesn't have all his teeth. yeah, i better not even get going on him. scary scary man.

tomorrow i am babysitting for previously mentioned adorable niece and nephew. this i am excited about. this is of course a volunteer position, but it is one of my favorite things to do, so i am good with the lack of monetary reimbursement. at least for the time being. visa may have qualms, but whatever.

it didn't rain today! yeah for no rain! now if only i can convince the sun to shine...

alright, i am exhausted. must have been the real work i did versus reading books and drinking chai. whew.

and then there was me blogging...

right. so, i've never blogged. i didn't actually really know such a word as blog existed, let alone that it was classified as a verb, but whatever. live and learn.

gabe recommended i start this. really, i figure it is like cheap therapy. gabe probably figures it will decrease his cell phone bills and perhaps allow him more time to sleep...as if that is what he needs, can the kid possibly sleep more?

anyhow, this should be interesting. and given that i don't really know how this works or what blogging etiquette is, i'm just going to wing it. and start with the happens of my life as of late. although, it seems so odd to just sit and talk about myself, not that i don't do it well and frequently anyhow, but normally i interject the customary and polite "so, how are you doing?" every so often, not necessarily because i care (although sometimes with some people i do really care), but because it is rude not to. but here, really, i don't have to do that...at least not as far as i know. wow, feeling really free right now.

so, i am done with my second year of law school at gonzaga and thus home in michigan for the summer. it has rained every day, except one, since i have gotten here. i remember missing the thunderstorms while i was out west, but now i am just tired of them waking me up all night. they can stop now. i've had my fill.

i'm excited to be home because a. it means i am done with school for the year (which might alleviate my now scarily high blood pressure), b. i get to see my niece and nephew, whom i adore and who adore me still, given their young age and innocence, and c. i love summers in michigan (lake michigan, traverse city, canoeing, camping, running outside, s'mores, bonfires...). so, it is good to be home. for the most part. not good is the fact that we just built a new house, so it is chaotic. chaotic in the sense that last week i was in the new sweet ass shower, showering away, doing what one does in the shower. as i am getting out of the shower, and drying off, i glance out of the very high and not easily accessible window, only to make eye contact with the scary and semi-toothless man working on the siding, evidently. i was so disgusted, that i bolted out of the bathroom, attempting to cover myself with my towel. ick. gross. how long was that freak staring at me?

i start working this week, which is fantastic, because i am going absolutely crazy with all my free time. i am not a free time lover. i am actually the opposite. i love the be busy. scheduled. running from here to there. all this free time leaves me feel rather unproductive and somewhat of a waste of space. take today for example.

i woke up, early as always, and then realized i had nothing to do. literally. so, i ran double the miles to take up double the time...all in an effort to feel productive. i then went to a coffee house and drank two soy chai lattes while reading a book (not an intellectual book, on break from those until school starts again) from cover to cover, taking all of about two hours. so, then, feeling very lazy, i decided to re-enter society as a productive citizen by donating blood. i have o- blood, so they always want it. yeah, even that was a bust. my veins sucked and the poor nurse just ended up getting mad and bruising my entire arm. so, really, now i look like a freakin' drug addict with a bruised up arm. nice, huh? kinda achieved the exact opposite of what i was looking to do. on the upside, i felt slightly redeemed upon arriving at my aunt's house and being able to help my cousin with his math homework. actually felt helpful and intelligent...right, until i realized he was in the freakin' fourth grade and i had damn well better know how to do mixed numbers and improper fractions after this much education and looming debt. shortly after that helpful spurt, i attempted to run an errand that was requested of me, which simply led to me being lost in flowerland amongst the overwhelming varieties of flora and fauna. kinda scary really, given that i knew i had a specific variety (marigolds, yellow, not orange...i was bitter) to find, yet was totally lost. some awkward teenage boy finally ended up helping me, but really, he just made me more uncomfortable, given his complete lack of eye contact. why is there no eye contact? seriously.

so, yeah, that was my day. exciting, huh? tomorrow is looking very similar. i might go insane. it is clearly possible that i might be nuts by thursday, when i finally start my job waitressing. i'll have to clean or something tomorrow. that might do the trick.

either way, i'll keep you up to date on my mental stability...or lack thereof.